The Trouble With Love Is
by Anh D-ao
Summary: And so here I am, standing at the gateway between reality and dreams, I once vowed never to come back here. When four years passed and there were no miracles bringing the one person I’d ever given my heart too didn’t come. A promise was truly broken o
1. Tumbling Through The Rabbit Hole

This is for Midnight Insanity who convinced me to actually post this. Thanks hun, you rule!

**Summary: **And so here I am, standing at the gateway between reality and dreams, I once vowed never to come back here. When four years passed and there were no miracles bringing the one person I'd ever given my heart too didn't come. A promise was truly broken on that day and I found that at last I could let go...

**Category**: Spirited Away

**Title**: The Trouble With Love

I'm still not sure if it was real or all just some dream that I created from the fathomless depths of my mind. To this day if we hadn't arrived back to a future two months after we were supposed to have arrived I doubt I there would be any of these questions continuing to plague my mind.

And so here I am, standing at the gateway between reality and dreams, such a fine line holds them apart after all, sometimes reality and dreams cross into each other.

I once vowed never to come back here.

When four years passed and there were no miracles bringing the one person I'd ever given my heart too didn't come. A promise was truly broken on that day and I found that at last I could let go of the last threads that kept me from fully grasping reality.

Before then I'd come back here, to this exact spot, celebrating the anniversary of the day, which I left that world, that reality. The day that a promise was made that could never be kept.

I make no apologies or feel any kind of guilt for finally giving into the inevitable.

Every year on that day I came and wished for him to come back to me. But he never did. He broke his promise and I was damned if I was going to contemplate waiting for him until I was too old and too frail to return.

No, I did the adult thing and walked away with the shattered pieces of my heart.

So one now has to wonder why, three years later, at the much wiser age of seventeen, I have returned here.

That would be my younger sisters fault. Minako.

She and three friends decided to come here and explore for the day.

That was a week ago.

My parents have been frantic with worry and search parties have roamed over the whole area during the day looking for them. If I'd been here undoubtedly I'd already be there, or I would have told them that they needed to be back and a few hours after dark just so that if they dawdled or decided to be rebellious there would still be a chance for them.

Taking a deep breath of air I resettled the bag on my shoulder and checked that I still wore the shimmery purple string that had been woven for me by my friends when I was last there.

Closing my eyes I took one step, crossing the boundary between reality and dreams.

If you take the first step the rest will inevitably follow and so I found myself walking across the grassy plains until I reached the steps and then began climbing them also.

I walked down the familiar street even as the sky darkened around me and lights began coming on, going to the very spot he had once hid me before sending me down to Kumaji, the boiler man.

Instead of waiting as I did last time I crawled through the little door (a much tighter fit) and walked down the long staircase to Kumaji's.

Entering I smiled fondly at the memory I had of him before disregarding it and telling myself to remember that I was here for one reason and one reason only.

"What do you want human?" he asked me suspiciously, eyes narrowed in my general direction while he continued working.

A small smile touched my lips, "What, don't you recognise your own grand-daughter? Or do you have too many of them to remember such infinitely small details?"

"What grand-daughter? I don't have a grand-daughter?" he replied in his gruff way.

"Tsk tsk tsk Kumaji, forgetting your own grand-daughter." I shook my head lightly at him, "Have you seen any other humans here?"

He wrinkled his nose in distaste, "Yeah, three of 'em, Lin took them to get jobs from Yubaba, they're working with her now."

I grinned, at last a lead. "Thanks, by the way I never thanked you properly for those train tickets so thank you."

That caught his attention but I'd run out of time to talk to him so instead I just waved goodbye before sliding through the doorway to the main area of the bath house, travelling the familiar corridors until I came to the largest filthiest tub there.

"Why can't Oogie-boogie clean it herself!" a familiar voice asked with distaste, "Three days we've been working on this disgusting thing and it doesn't look like much of an improvement either."

"Her name's Yubaba, and should you really be insulting your employer?" I asked leaning against the side of the tub.

The girls inside looked up in surprise and one of them launched herself at me, hugging me tightly.

"You came, you're here for me!" she cried happily, "Oh Chi, you CAME!"

I smiled lightly, "Yes I came for you Mina, now I just have to find a way to get you out."

"That's not going to happen." A cold and definitely male voice replied from the doorway.

My sister paled, "Lord Haku, we were just cleaning it."

I blanched, the very person I'd been hoping not to see had just turned up behind me, fantastic.

I turned, composing myself as much as I could, getting the words ready to speak before losing them instantly upon sighting him.

His dark hair was cut much shorter than last time in a messy carefree style and he'd aged, his face losing much of its boyish charm and turning into something coldly autocratic, regal. He was more handsome than ever however, close even to beautiful although the masculine air surrounding him was too great for him to be thought of as that.

I scowled at myself, realising that I'd lost all control of the situation and composed myself saying evenly. "Oh I think you'll let them go Haku."

He smiled at this, actually smiled. A smile that didn't seem to reach his eyes, although he certainly was amused at my statement.

"And why should I do that, after they've been trained further they'll make good slaves."

I winced at the coldly autocratic tone to his voice, beginning to wonder when the light that I had loved in his eyes had disappeared.

"Because you owe me."

He cocked his head to the side, the amusement even more profound on his features. "Owe you for what human, I've never even met you before."

Although I had considered this to be the case, that he had forgotten all about me, it still hurt to hear. A dagger of ice went through my heart; a dagger which I had been sure had broken the said object a long time ago.

I smiled sadly at him, "For a promise never kept."

A small frown etched itself onto his features before his face became expressionless. "Either way, if you want to get them out you're going to need to work for it, and to do that you need to sign a contract."

I sighed, "And if I just walk out of here with them?"

He smiled coldly, "Their contracts won't allow them to leave this world."

My heart fell at this proclamation, even though I had already known it would be coming.

"So I guess that means I get to go talk to Yubaba now." I said, despondent, wondering just how long I was going to be stuck in this world this time. Just how long I would need to be near him anymore.

I'd tried so hard to forget everything about him, from the way he'd held me close and comforted me when I'd been scared. He'd told me he'd find me again, he'd promised.

It wasn't until I was old enough to understand that I was able to let him go, to put him to the furthest part of my mind. It was always there though, even though by then I'd realised that promises weren't made to be kept.

They were made to be pretty little words that people put their trust in just so that they couldn't see what would really happen.

And then he'd gone and forgotten about her, forgotten about everything they'd done together. Well two could play that game.

"Don't worry about showing me the way, I can find her myself." I muttered, moving past him and following the familiar path upstairs.

The bathhouse was exactly the same as I remembered it, a little more elaborate perhaps, but other than that the same sort of ambience.

I approached the gilded knocker carefully but confidently, after all, I'd been here before, there was nothing that she could do to me that I didn't already know about.

"Well, come in." the knocker said irately, the doors opening before me, a harsh draft threatening to pull me in.

Following the familiar corridors I found herself in front Yubaba's desk, the old woman with her head turned down doing some paper work.

"Well, what do you want?"

I smiled, she hadn't changed at all, she was the same bad-tempered old woman.

"A job."

She scowled, "Not another human wanting a job here."

Changing the topic I asked quietly, "How's your son?"

She looked up, eyes narrowed, "How do you know about my baby?"

I grinned, "Am I getting my job?"

Waving her hand in annoyance she created a contract for me, a scowl still firmly etched on her face.

I signed it quickly before letting it fly it's way back to her, waiting for her further comments.

"So, you're name's-"she stopped eyes widening, "Chihiro, why would you come back here after Haku spent so much effort on getting you out of your last contract."

"My sister and her friends, they came here by accident, I want them released in return for me."

She pondered this for a moment, "Three for one is a loss to me, and your reappearance will cause problems with Haku again...Still, the spirits always seemed to like you, and those three are pretty much good for nothings."

I nodded, accepting her words.

"Very well Sen, your sister and her friends will work for another week and then be released from their contract."

I smiled in something akin to relief, "Thank you."

"But in return you will stay here indefinitely."

AD: Mwahahaha!!! I feel evil leaving it there but whatever. Was watching Spirited Away for like the 50th time when I got the inspiration to write this. Leave me a review and let me know what you think.


	2. Dreams and Reality

Haha, aren't I lazy? Yes I am well aware of the fact that **gasp** it's taken me just over fourth months to update. I haven't really got any excuses for it except to say that the times just passed way too quickly and I lost track of it between everything and I'm really really sorry to those people who want to kill me. I'll try to keep the updates more regular from now on. Anyway here's the chapter.

Dedicated once again to my onee-chan. Midnight Insanity and to my readers.

Now I was once a fool, it's true

I played the game by all the rules

But now my world's a deeper blue

I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too

I swore I'd never love again

I swore my heart would never mend

Said love wasn't worth the pain

But then I hear it call my name

Kelly Clarkson – The Trouble With Love

The Trouble With Love Is

**Chapter Two** – Dreams and Reality

I didn't need to explain to my sister how much of a sacrifice I'd made for them. She knew.

When she'd been younger I'd told her stories of the spirit world, the bath house and the boy who had never kept his promise. She thought they were just that, stories.

When I'd told her that I wouldn't be coming back with her she'd screamed and raged and finally sullenly given into tears when she for the first time in her life couldn't get her own way.

I wish I could have given it to her. The last thing I wanted to do was to stay here, with him. Where the memories were always fresh to resurface.

Still nothing could be done now a contract had been made and signed. It couldn't be broken now.

Much to my disappointment I wasn't placed in the same position as last time, Yubaba instead contracted me to working with her son, teaching him things like reading and how to count. I was hardly qualified for such a position but I did the best I could under the circumstances.

The position should have guaranteed me turning around every corner to find Haku however it didn't. I didn't know where he was, what he was doing and I honestly didn't want too.

Her son I learnt was called Daichi, a name I hadn't found out last time I saw him. And while Daichi did enjoy being a spoilt brat at times he was quite willing to learn and remembered me from the past.

I enjoyed working with him although it was hardly less strenuous than my last occupation here. I found myself missing my sister during this time, knowing that it would be our last together for quite sometime.

The sound of something dropping to the ground in the other room startled me enough to draw my attention away from the book I was 'reading' to Daichi. I use the term reading loosely as Daichi had fallen asleep almost half an hour before now. I had kept reading for my own sake, it seemed to be the only thing that could keep the memories at bay lately.

Standing I let the book rest gently against the chair I'd been sitting on and ventured carefully into the other room.

It was empty as far as I could tell and I let myself release the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Turning around I saw glistening eyes staring at me from the shadows. I did the first logical thing that entered my mind. I screamed.

"Enough!" a dark male voice commanded harshly.

The sound of his voice alone made me wish to scream even louder and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Instead I pulled myself together and faced the person I'd been trying to forget for the past week.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded in a tone that said if he didn't like my answer there would be hell to pay.

Instead of being afraid of this I found myself getting annoyed at the way he assumed he could just order me around like that. It didn't matter that it was true, just that I didn't like it and so I found myself huffing pettily. "None of your business."

He inched closer, the amount even though only fractionally still managed to send shivers down my spine and cause me to step back impulsively.

"You see now this is a problem because it IS my business." He replied, inching forward even further.

I found myself taking an even larger step back wondering distantly what exactly would happen when I ran out of room. Coming back against a wall seemed so clichéd in my opinion. Nevertheless I feared it happening.

"Everything that goes on in this place is my business." He responded, pushing me even further back as he moved forward.

A high pitched squeal entered the air as I stepped back onto nothing. Damn, I'd forgotten Yubaba's little trap hole.

However instead of plunging to my death a firm hand caught my arm in a deadlock grip pulling me back up with ease.

"Ow!" I complained noisily, wondering briefly which one was better, plunging to my death through multitudes of fans, spikes and the other strange things that Yubaba had put in her trap hole, or having to be touched by him.

Damn it was close too.

When I had finally been pulled up out of the hole instead of depositing me on the ground and letting me go he continued to keep my arm in an iron grip, moving me away from the hole.

"What's your name?"

I shook my head. I was still slightly shaken up but not enough to forget who it was.

"Sen!"

Fantastic, Daichi really had perfect timing I realised with a mixture of annoyance and relief.

Weighing the odds as he put me down I decided the giving of my name was a lesser evil in the whole picture. After all, I'm sure there were many other things he would have liked to say to me.

"Coming." I replied sending him a smug smile and expecting him to leave as I left the room, going into Daichi's room. I hadn't expected to turn around to shut the door only to find him right behind me.

Daichi smiled proudly at Haku, "Sen's been teaching me to read so you can't write anymore things to mama expecting me to not know what it means."

Haku treated the boy to a rare indulgent smile, leaning back against the wall, "And what else has Sen been teaching you."

Daichi grinned, "Lots of things. But I won't tell you so you don't know what I know."

Haku chuckled softly, coming over and ruffling the large boys hair.

"Sen's been telling me about the human world and what she's been doing since we saw her last."

An expression of confusion crossed Haku's face but it was wiped away so quickly that I wasn't sure that I'd seen it to begin with.

"Haku! Where are you?" Yubaba's coldly autocratic tone rang out.

He seemed to sigh before exiting the room without a backward glance.

Shivering slightly I turned back to Daichi and began reading to him again, ignoring all of his questions for tonight.

I I I

I sat against the riverbank watching as the ferry drifted across the river, full of sparkling lights denoting the presence of the spirits aboard.

This was the first place I met Haku.

Ironically after almost a week of servitude this was the place I felt most at home.

Every night since I'd been back here, after Yubaba had come and told me I was able to leave I'd snuck out. No matter where in my mind I pictured I would go I always ended back here.

Yubaba wasn't ignorant. She knew exactly what I did after I left. Whether or not she cared was a different matter entirely.

I suppose she figured the contract was so iron-glad that even a god himself couldn't break me free from it.

There were gods here, river gods. I'd met one the last time I'd tumbled down the rabbit hole.

I'd also heard rumours that Haku trained beneath one of them, that he was not only loyal to Yubaba now.

I did the only thing I could due to the circumstances. I ignored them.

I'd actually become quite good at it too.

Sighing I opened the letter once again and pondered the words I'd placed in it.

Telling your parents that you wouldn't be coming back because you'd be living in a spirit world so that your sister and her friends could return wasn't exactly the easiest of topics to write about.

What I really hated was the fact that they'd never believe it.

Still there was nothing more that I could do, and I wanted my parents to have something from me before I left forever.

"What are you doing here?"

I whirled around wide-eyed as Haku sat beside me. Getting ready to bolt I found that I was unable to move.

"None of that." He chided eyes focused on the river before them still, watching the gentle ripples of water as the boat moved through it.

I scowled, so what he was omnipotent now? I shuddered then as the answer came to me.

He could very possibly BE omnipotent. After all, how much did I really know about him now, we'd both changed. I wasn't the naïve little girl who trusted anyone anymore and he wasn't the sweet caring boy who'd known me by presence alone.

"You know Daichi was the third person today to talk about you as if I should or did know you. Why is it then that I have no recollection?"

His voice was deceptively indifferent

In an act of pure spitefulness that he could actually be asking me that question I refused to answer. Instead turning my mind to the arduous task of ignoring his presence altogether.

He opened his mouth to speak before changing his mind. Turning his dark eyes to the bank instead, looking at it narrowly.

Standing he left without saying so much as a word to me, transforming into his dragon form.

Funny, as much as I had been wishing for him to leave, the fact that he had hurt my pride somewhat.

I closed my eyes and leant back, reminding myself of the various reasons why I couldn't allow myself to trust him for even a second. To become familiar with him again.

The tattered pieces of my conscience urged me to go and explain it all to him. To lay everything out on the line and tell him everything, remind him of everything.

The realistic side of my nature objected to this measure, telling me that to do so would simply open myself up to be hurt. And the spiteful side of my nature told me that he was the one who had gone and forgotten everything about me so why should I place any care on his feelings or measures.

The spiteful side won.

It had been winning since I finally accepted the harsh realities of life and would keep on winning until something happened to change their opinion.

Opening my eyes once again I looked up at the shining white beam of the moon before turning my gaze to the crystalline depths of the river. This place was so like my own world yet so unlike it at the same time. Nothing seemed to happen in the same way and yet every surrounding was as if it were a mirror image of the real world.

Spirit world.

Yet I was human. Alive and well, living in a world set aside completely for the spirits.

Odd isn't it.

Standing as the boat docked I walked slowly back up the road I'd come from, returning to the bath-house, to my new existence. And the whole way those fathomless dark eyes watched me.

I I I I I


	3. Memory

**Chapter Three : Memory**

Memory is an interesting thing. My own is something that I have been battling with for the better part of four years. Because for four years I have been trying to convince myself that my memory was deceptive. Luckily for me it's a well-known fact that memory _is_ deceptive. Unfortunately in my case my memory happened to be anything but.

When this fact took up permanent residence in my mind I did my very best to forget every single thing that had happened during my time in a realm which by all rationale shouldn't have been accessible to me.

I never forgot my time in the spirit world.

Nor did I forget my first and only love.

Yet despite all my best wishes, he forgot me.

I don't think I'm over exaggerating when I say that fate has a really twisted sense of irony.

It was well into my third week before whispers of Haku's other instructor met my ears. These whispers correlated with the said instructor, an old river god who was said to be very powerful and very dangerous.

Lin warned me with a wild look to her eyes not to go near him because he was trouble.

I agreed faintly, I didn't want or need trouble; there was no way I would be foolish enough to go in search of it.

Instead trouble found me on the third morning of his arrival and stood, contemplating me thoroughly while I stood still, refusing to let him think that he intimidated me.

We stood that way for god knows how long his demeanour becoming more and more threatening, before Haku entered with Lin and took up the old man's attention while she dragged me away, commenting loudly that I was late for my chores.

I never remembered to thank Lin for that. Selective memory.

Looping a strand of dull brown hair which had fought for it's freedom from my tight bun around my ear I settled onto the sofa and proceeded to go through the finer points of math with Daichi, all the while wondering what the hell I was doing.

I'm not a teacher, in fact math was never exactly my strong suit at school, which is nothing to say that I couldn't do it at this level, just that I couldn't exactly teach it.

"Are we finished for the day Sen?"

Daichi's voice broke me from my reverie and I smiled at him, "Yes, we are."

He smiled in return before shuffling nervously, "I was hoping we could visit Granny and no face."

It was an interesting concept, one I hadn't even considered. Granny may well know just what was going on, because as much as I may try to deny it I needed to know why he had forgotten me. Although it would probably make my life a whole lot easier if I was able to just forget him.

We travelled a way echoing with familiarity using tickets bought and paid for by Yubaba for her son on just these occasions. Walking down the winding road full of crossroads leading to Granny's house I was struck for a second time over the familiarity of this.

The cottage was just as small and tidy as it had been when I had left it, the front yard slightly cleaner as Haku in his dragon form _had_ crashed into it with quite a deal of force when I'd last been here.

The door opened before we reached it and Granny stood there, arms wide and comforting. I was in them before I could even think of what it was I was doing and tears I had long since blocked trickled their way down my cheeks.

Granny commented lightly that she thought the backyard could use a bit of a tidy up and that she just knew that no face and Daichi were the right people for the job before drawing me gently into the cottage, still using her shoulder as a crying post.

"You shouldn't be back here Sen," she offered before continuing warmly, "But it's good to see you again no matter the circumstances."

And just like that I found myself telling her everything. Everything about my life up until that point, my confusion with my past, my struggles to keep it a memory and my fears that people would notice it and commit me to a mental institution. But most of all I told her about Haku, because if we were being truthful that was the backbone of all of my problems.

She listened silently with care, never interjecting, sensing somehow that if she did I wouldn't be able to continue. She remained just as composed as she asked whether or not it would be a good idea for Haku to remember me.

I gazed at her in shock.

A small smile flittered across her ancient face as she said lightly that sometimes it was better to forget things.

I continued to stare, not fully comprehending just what it was that she was subtly hinting to me. She didn't elaborate.

"I think perhaps its time for some cake and tea don't you think Chihiro?" Granny remarked rising and toddling on her ancient legs into the kitchen.

"I don't understand,"

She smiled that selfsame knowing smile and nodded, "I know you don't."

Trying a different route I sat at the table and said blithely, "I'm stuck here."

She chuckled slightly, "Oh Chihiro, you're not stuck here. You never have been."

When I asked her what she meant she just laughed and shrugged it off. My visit with Granny was making me progressively more confused. I sat silently at the table nodding at no face who patted me on the shoulder as he walked past and Daichi who ignored my little outburst in favour of stuffing an extremely large piece of cake into his mouth.

Granny tapped him on the head and scowled at him and I couldn't help a grin.

After the cake, tea and carefree banter I had come to associate with visits to Granny's place (aside from the overwhelmingly confusing talks we had), Daichi and I had to leave.

It was when we'd reached the gate that Granny called out to me cheerfully, "You've changed Chihiro, so has he!"

* * *

On our trip home, which was a lot slower than I recall it being before we were silent. Well as silent as we could be with Daichi's sudden bursts of conversation, in which he refused to call me Sen anymore, and my polite but vague replies.

I dropped him off at the bathhouse almost as soon as we returned and excused myself to wander off on my own.

It was funny just how often my memories took over my wandering. Soon enough I found myself at the ever-familiar riverbank, lights strung up merrily and music playing. The atmosphere did nothing to quell my mood but it was familiar and familiarity was something I needed at this present moment.

When he arrived almost an hour later I knew this time the second that he left the procession.

The grass swayed beneath his feet but didn't bend I noticed, he was barely touching it in fact.

"It's not a good night to be out," he stated, coming to stand in front of me.

A smile touched my lips. "Nothing can happen to me."

His eyes narrowed slightly but it was the only indication that he had paid attention to my statement.

"Tell me something Haku, what do you remember about your past?"

He half shrugged and sat next to me. "Is there any particular reason you want to know?"

I smiled faintly. Answering my question with another question was just a bit irritating.

"No answer?" he mocked.

I remained silent, staring out over the calm water. It glimmered with the reflected lights of the procession. Funny how this suited my mood so much more.

"I have a question for you Sen, people here seem to know you, in fact they talk about you almost incessantly. Yet every time I enter the room they stop. Why is that?"

I was surprised by the question and I'm sure it showed on my face. He raked a hand through his hair in annoyance. Brilliant green eyes now a darker emerald green bored into my own and I began to feel slightly uncomfortable.

I shrugged uncomfortable, avoiding his gaze.

The moment was broken when a tubby spirit that I vaguely remembered ran up and requested Master Haku's help for something.

He stood gracefully and looked back down at me and indescribable look in his eyes before saying brusquely that I should be getting back to the bathhouse.

On my way back, feeling slightly flustered and strangely reflective I thought back on Granny's words and wondered just what it was she had meant.

* * *

Ok shortish chapter after a very long time away from updating but I actually know how I want this to end now which has been what was holding me off from updating because to be honest when I began this it was just a bit of emotive drabble that my sister got me to post. Now it actually has to fit together, have a plot and be a story. So yeah, final update should be in a week or so. 


	4. Goodbye

AD: Like everything else I write this is unbeta-ed. So forgive any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. I'm looking for a beta who reads a few categories and has the time to read through my things for me before I post and check any errors. If you're interested let me know in a review.

**The Trouble With Love Is**

.**  
**

**Chapter Four: Goodbye**

When you have all the time in the world to think about the mistakes of your past you can find little else to focus on. Despite my best intentions to focus on Daichi's education there was only so much I could do before needing to leave him to his own devices, which in turn left me to my own devices.

This equalled long hours spent in confinement where I relieved every past word, gesture and thought in attempt to explain exactly how my life had turned out this way. Over analysing things was a bitch.

I was eternally grateful when they concluded for the day and I was able to leave. I needed something else to think about.

Tracing the outline of the walls as I walked down the richly furnished corridors I let loose a sigh. My mind wandered once again and I walked absently until a hard surface forcibly caused her to stop.

Glancing up in irritation I froze, the colour draining from my face slowly.

Haku's master stood there, raised to his full intimidating height and staring me down.

Determined not to get involved I nodded at him loosely before attempting to walk past. I didn't get very far, a firm grip on my upper arm halted me in my path. Directing my attention back to him I sighed in annoyance. He smiled, the gesture wasn't comforting.

"Lets talk you and I."

I gathered from the way he was all but pulling me along that I didn't exactly have a choice in this talk. So without saying a word I let him draw me through corridor upon corridor, into a room I had never even noticed before.

"Do you know why you're here?" he queried; his voice was a strange mix of brusque words with a musical lilt.

"Nobody to hear me scream?" I offered. I was only partially joking.

Funny, he didn't appreciate my humour as much as I did. After a rather pointed glance that indicated he was not amused he let me go and sighed.

"We need to fix your misconceptions."

"We do," I was humouring him of course; I had no idea what misconceptions we were correcting.

He seemed to realise it also as his eyes narrowed further and he glared at me. Ok, so no more sarcasm, I could do that… maybe.

"You seem to think that I am some sort of-" he broke off; pursing his lips in distaste, "Boogie monster."

I resisted the urge to refer back to his current actions as an indication of the legitimacy of this statement. Good girl Chihiro, don't talk back to the man who could kill you without anyone being able to hear you scream.

"This is about Haku."

Well duh.

"I want you to stay away from him."

Ok, I'll be honest that's not exactly what I was expected. Actually if I think about it I'm not actually sure what I was expecting.

I didn't exactly say no, but then again I made no move to indicate that I would say yes.

"You'll… complicate things."

"I'll complicate things?" I asked incredulously. I glanced across at his face anger mounting.

I realised then what was really going on. "It was you."

He quirked a brow, forehead creasing slightly as he began to realise just what I was raging about.

"You made him forget," I raged, "You took away his ability to remember me."

He watched me through timeless eyes, "I did. But he made his own choice."

I stepped back, "He chose to forget me."

He didn't answer. The unreadable look on his face was answer enough. When he walked away, perhaps realising that it was beyond time to try and convince me. It felt as if I'd been hit by something large and heavy, as if a hand had clamped down on my heart and squeezed. Rationale seemed to flee the premises as well, millions of thoughts rushing in and out as I stood there trying to make sense of something that to all intents and purposes seemed nonsensical to me. When an answer did finally come to me it was not what I had expected.

It was my humanity that caused him to choose to forget.

I thought it was hard for me to have to live my life out remembering him. The reality of the situation was that I was purely being selfish. Human nature was such that through the course of my life I would eventually forget him; I would move on, marry someone else, and eventually I would die. He had an eternity of searching of waiting for someone who may or may not eventuate there again.

I couldn't really hate him for his choice. I had after all attempted to forget him, why should I persecute him for doing the same. My reasonable side warred with my emotions and for that moment won out.

Even as I contemplated this I followed an unseen path, weaving in and out of corridors and passages until I reached the riverbanks.

* * *

He found me there almost an hour later, watching the river with flickering emotions. It was clear to me now why I came here to relieve my mind. This was my security blanket, my comfort area. It was my one link with my home and my only link with Haku now. 

"You're always here."

"Yes."

Our interaction was wonderful; really, it was just so deep and provocative.

He sat there with me for a while longer, neither of us talking before his hand crept onto mine, holding me in place effectively.

"You're upset," he observed.

I nodded, there was no point lying to him, he could read my emotions better than I could judge them.

He turned to look at me. "Chihiro."

I nodded before the name sunk in. He'd called me Chihiro.

He smiled, it was bitter, "I suppose you want to know why."

I could only gape at him; I was having a problem forming sentences currently. Finally I spat out, "No."

He regarded me silently for a moment before reaching a hand up to my face and slipping a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I never forgot you."

As this fact seemed obvious I didn't comment on it. I just made some sort of reassuring noises and looked elsewhere.

He turned me to face him and suddenly there was nowhere else to look.

"You don't belong here Chihiro. This place is for the dead and you are anything but dead."

I sighed, "I signed a contract."

"The contract means nothing, it only binds the dead, it cannot bind those who are still living."

Even as he said it I knew it, I had known always known it. It was an excuse, a way to cling to the past. A way to cling to him.

"I don't want to lose you again."

"You wont." He smiled, "One day, after you've lived out your life you'll return, and when you do I'll be waiting for you."

As if those words had released her, the lake before her disappeared and her surroundings faded.

She clutched onto the last remnants of Haku even as he disappeared before her eyes. All to suddenly she was back in the clearing and no indication of her journey to the spirit world remained arguing whether or not she had truly been there. The skin of her cheek tingled with the remembrance of his touch.

It gave her hope.

* * *

AD: And with the conclusion of the chapters this has actually given me an idea for a new Spirited Away story. There may possibly be a conclusion I haven't decided whether it's better to leave it here or to continue it. So for now think of this as the end of story for now. 


End file.
